LETA KOPP

Where and how have I noticed God working in my life? I would have to answer, “Always actively.”

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There have been so many instances but I think still the most pivotal for me was when I was wrestling with issues around my second marriage. My first husband had been killed during Vietnam. And I have often said that I wanted to crawl into God’s lap and ask, “What were you thinking?”

The only thing I have been given as insight is that I have since been able to comfort others going through bereavement. After my husband’s death, I was angry at God and so threw off all the values I had grown up with. I did things that should have killed me or at least make me very sick.

But now I see God’s protection through it all. I have called those years the lost years of my life and title that portion of my testimony, “the Prodigal Daughter.” I came around and knew I needed to get a “normal” life back. I moved from one situation to another probably too quickly. And I married the only guy I had seen with short hair in a couple of years …

I remained married for 18 years and had 3 children in that marriage but there came a time when things became intolerable. And yet I thought I am a Christian, I just have to try harder and Christians just don’t get divorced. In counseling with my Pastor I was challenged to make up my mind what I really wanted. It was like being asked, “Do you want to be healed”

I was paralyzed by fear and indecision. I went to the Wilderness. Literally, I was in Montana at the time and as I wandered and wondered the scripture story about the Woman at the Well came clearly to me. Jesus knew all about the woman and yet recognized her, spoke to her against many taboos, engaged her in conversation much to the shock of the disciples. I interpreted that as unconditional love for someone who others thought unworthy.

I truly felt the love of God and that acceptance and love enabled me to get through a very difficult time. Remembering this time and other times when I have seen God’s guidance, love, and protection have helped me get through other difficult trials in my life. This is also why I am a Christian: I am thoroughly convinced that I would be mentally unstable, well more than I am, if Jesus was not my Savior. I would be lost indeed. Knowing Jesus loves me, I am able to do things I would, on my own, not even attempt.